Reading – The Seven Languages of Respect
Share your experiences. When do you feel respected by your students? Is there something that you have implemented with your students that you feel has encouraged respect?
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I have found with my gen Y students that they really love to engage on social media. I have set up some closed Facebook and Instagram accounts were we can communicate between lessons. I share videos of myself and other staff creating floral arrangements to inspire and create anticipation on what’s coming up in the course down the track. I find the students respond really well and love to see new ideas and techniques. It keeps their interest in the course and keeps them actively engaged.
We have just started to do this with our cohort and seems to be working quite well for us also.
We have had nothing but positive feedback about the process and learners a more motivated to contribute.
My classes are also starting to set up groups on social media. One class I have has a WhatsApp group that includes the teachers and one that doesn’t. That way, they can engage with each other as peers to discuss topics (related or unrelated to their studies) without bombarding us as their teachers with loads of posts, but then if they have a question they want to ask one of us, they ask on the other group so we can support them while they are working remotely.
Times are changing, the new generations now are more active learners, they like to be heard and their opinion be taken seriously. Mutual respect and trust are essential building blocks of an optimal learning environment. The orientation classes are the best opportunities for teachers to align expectations and set the stage for mutual respect.
I agree completely Ivy the engagement starts with the first contact of teachers and students. Orientation is often the most important contact, if they don’t get a good feeling for the course and teacher they will often not return.
I think orientation is really important as well. I enjoy orientation and starting to connect with the students. While we have our orientation program, I also make sure we have lots of time to talk and exchange information over the time frame. I also encourage students to get involved with the orientation via activities and take time to learn about the students when they are ready to share. Our section now orientates over the course of a week due to feedback from staff and students alike who wanted more time to acclimatise to the course(s) teaching staff and other students. In taking on student feedback, our orientation gets better each year.
Ivy, I completely agree with you that mutual respect is an essential building block in any learning environment.
Hi Ivy,
I really liked the insight you provided in your comment, particularly in reference to aligning our expectations and setting the stage for mutual respect. In my experience as a first-year teacher, I have found that it is quite easy to build rapport with some students because I am actually more flexible in my expectations, which then allows these students to strike up conversation with me. Not only do these conversations encourage respect and mutuality, they also allow my students to feel safe and comfortable in opening up to me, which is one of the points the speaker made in the article set for reading.
Thank you for your excellent contribution.
As a tertiary teacher of ESOL (English for Speakers of Other Languages) where my students are migrants and/or refugees, respect needs to be shown and demonstrated differently depending on the nationality. What is considered the norm for one is vastly different for another culture.
I share the same experience. I am a TESOL teacher working with a cohort of adult migrant students. A lot of them are retired persons from highly professional jobs in their own countries. The dynamics is very different to teaching young children and high school students. I have high respects and acknowledgement for this cohort of adult learners especially with the wealth of experiences and knowledge they brought to the class. The respect is also recipocal.
Although a baby boomer I believe as a teacher you can’t demand respect from your students – you have to earn it. How? Welcoming students to the class, taking an interest in them as a human being. When you show them this kind of respect they then will take a greater interest in what you are saying.
I agree
I believe we all need boundaries and respect is created by forming boundaries on both sides
I agree Dragica. Kindness, compassion and respect go hand in hand. Showing this and earning this creates mutual respect
It is amazing how a little insight can help focus communication and build rapport. I have found myself giving examples from Session 1 to help explain things to my older cohort of students (1 is mid 60s) for a leadership class. We are actually looking at rosters and i was explaining how younger generations have a different concept of planning and commitment and you could just see the light bulb moment. I think we need to embrace different ways of doing things and different realities to overcome issues in our “new world order” eg coronavirus.
I agree Amanda. Having an understanding of the different generations and the way they communicate has certainly helped me. If we can be open to change and also open to taking on suggestions from both younger and mature aged students I believe this will encourage communication both in and out of the classroom. A focus on communication is so important today when many feel more comfortable communicating via technology rather than face-to-face.
I am guilty of expecting written communication in a particular form. In fact I sometimes edit learners assessment submission with the intention of helping them improve but is it necessary if the function of communication demonstrates knowledge?
Coming from a VET background – spelling, grammar and punctuation are not listed as performance criteria for the units of competency I deliver. Workplace trainees and mainstream learners will often express concern regarding their ability to provide coherent written responses in this respect. Some of the best workplace employees I train / assess can have very low levels of literacy. It may be desirable, but not essential in the workplace. Employers largely rate these people as invaluable with respect to workplace productivity and as mentors for newer employees.
Interesting topic and especially liked the explanation of ‘should’. Growing up in an earlier era about social norms and the changes we have seen over the years – due mainly to our influence – changes from seen and not heard – to ‘why do we do this?’, ‘why do we need to x,y & z?’
I especially like the wording from Plan to Prepare for the future. Great resource for all teachers/trainers in the education field.
Agreed. I teach ESOL where modality/ modal verbs are taught to identify the likelihood or possibility of something happening. Academically, ‘should’ is hedging the level of that possibility. I too liked the wording from plan to prepare for whatever the future holds.
Respect is an interesting topic and different to many, the course content is engaging and helps to build knowledge of different student groups and how to establish respect in the class room setting.
I work in Vocational education with adults ranging from 16 to their 60s and can certainly see the difference across my classroom, not always but in most cases they fit the generational profiles.
Respect, can mean so many different things to different people. I have never really thought about it as respect in the classroom. The cohorts I teach are very different individually, also varying greatly in age, and I think remembering that assists in creating a professional relationship with them individually and as a class. This question about what I believe demonstrates respect in the classroom is something I have never thought of but I guess for me it is that they truly understand what their study requirements are at home and completing that as well as attending class and contributing to the classroom, feeling as though they are a part of the team.
I have already learnt some great information from this course, Thank you.
I agree with you Yvette, I too have been in my bubble on what is or isn’t respectful and never really thought it from a different perspective. This course has been a good eye opener to see things differently and change my expectations and behaviour.
Hi Yvette,
What an insightful post! I found your comment about the meaning of respect varying for each person. I never really consider the differing interpretations of respect for different people until starting this course. I love how the article we had to read presented such a cookie-cutter outline of how different respect is for teachers and students alone. Imagine the difference between different generations of teachers and students, even? What an interesting thought.
Thank you for your thoughts!
I am really enjoying the course so far. I m a baby boomer and the shift in education is being summed up beautifully and with humour. Young people may be in a different mindset in many ways and I was shocked to hear about the decline in empathy because of the digital filter but the younger generation may still have similar hopes and dreams to the past and this new education model has also produced children who are not afraid to question the status quo. Children like Greta Thunberg who think for themselves and try to change the world for the better. I believe children will need this independent resourceful thinking to plan for their careers and how the world may change in their generation.
Hi Pamela
I was also interested in the decline in empathy and feel this was explained in context to technology. Great example of using Greta – skills for preparing for the future.
Respect is so many things to so many people, and it looks completely different depending on the eyes you look through. With changes that occur rapidly in the world we live it is important to take a minute and reflect on what “respect” really is. In the classroom, it could look like happy, attentive students engaging in a practical task OR it could look like the student has attended class. It is important to embrace change and for me it is spending more listening to what others have to say than talking. We can learn an immense amount when we allow others to be who they are. Baby boomers, Gen X, Gen Y, we all have something to give. Having my own children helps and challenges my own thinking in lots of ways.
I think it is important for students to feel that teachers like them as people and value their opinions. In many ways this is a big improvement in education because in the 60s it was ‘one size fits all’ approach.
I agree that listening to others is important and allows us to get to know their stories and experiences and thereby demonstrate respect for that person.
Agreed, Pamela. I work with migrants and refugees and I find it extremely rewarding and I find I show empathy and compassion, which is reciprocated. We all need to feel like we are valued, no matter our background or level of education etc.
In my experience of teaching both young and adult students, it’s amazing to see how each cohort can bring with them new and interesting perspectives to the teaching and learning interaction. The teachers are no longer the ‘know-it-all’ figures that some of us know so well in the baby boomers generation. Mutual respect and trust can be earned.
I totally agree that respect is so many things to so many people. This resonates with me as all teachers and learners are individually influenced by their age, family values, cultural background and beliefs. Listening to what others have to say is vital to understanding the differences in people. I believe listening to others contributes to earning respect.
Absolutely, respect is earned and this program has highlighted for me the importance of openness, interest in our students, flexibility, putting effort into creating engaging and fun learning activities, humility (not being afraid to say ‘I don’t know the answer – let’s find out’), sharing my own experience and expertise and listening to them. Drawing out their experiences to build on, rather than imposing a new idea or concept that doesn’t connect with them is also important. It’s so important for us as teachers to try to understand our students, whatever generation, and not impose our own values and norms.
Vicki, i completely agree that this program has highlighted the importance of openness and a general interest in our young people. We can not judge anyone unless walked the same path. The generations are interesting, fun and engaging, it is all about mindset.
I totally agree with your share Vicki. I especially like “if you don’t know the answer, asking them to find out together’, opens up communication channels, leading to respect and trust.
Yes, sharing your own experiences and doing so with humility and openness. Humility is very atractive and arogance quite the opposite.
I agree with the sharing of experiences for all learning. With our learners from various generations ie. Baby boomers, Gen Y, Gen X, the sharing of ideas can be vast and the asking for learner input can vary and this opens a learning environment with possibilities. This is engaging:)
Yes, a great concept, respect, which we have to earn not expect. As a teacher of many years, it is nice to see at last the understanding of this concept, that we are all different and have different expectations from the classroom (student and teacher). Being open to change and actively listening to all my students has helped, being mindful of course that I am a baby boomer (just!), having teenagers and gen Y at home and in the classroom has helped me build a rapport, plus of course also helped me with my understanding of technology!
Caron, I agree with you, I am just outside the baby boomer and I like to concept of earnt and not expected. I too have teenagers and I believe they definitely help you understand the classroom of today and technology 🙂
I am hearing you both with the at home learning of having teenagers being helpful in navigating the classroom in a different context. Being open to change is a great step.
I am also a TAFE teacher who has a lot of early school leavers in my classes.I have found in my experience that respect usually comes once I have built a rapport with my students. Unfortunately this is not something you can put a time frame on. I have worked really hard to not ‘sweat the small stuff” in order to build that relationship, however it is not always possible.
I feel respected as a teacher when my students attend class, enjoy what they are doing, complete their work and contribute to a positive atmosphere in the classroom. I enjoy being able to have a laugh with them and feel really privileged when they allow me to see ‘the real them”.
I identified strongly with the examples of “do I have to know this?”. “Why are we doing this Miss?” Now that I have a better understanding of the post modern mindset I will be able to deal more effectively with this scenario in a classroom. I particularly like the shift of “Prepare for the future” rather than Plan.
Shauna, i love your comment about not “sweat the small stuff”. I wish i could maintain that ideal 24/7. I too feel respect when my students attend class, complete work and contribute in a positive way.
I agree about the prepare for the future rather than plan. This is a much more sensible approach anyway as planning for the future often causes anxiety in its black and white nature or people feeling they have to get the plan right or their goals will be ruined.
We also take that approach with our cohort – ‘sweat the small stuff’. We’re happy if they turn up to class and do their best, hopefully with a lot of laughs.
Great comment, I too like the prepare rather than plan concept and it does make sense when you look at it. I am going to try a leaf from your book and drop the small stuff and concentrate on what is important.
I also liked the idea of “prepare” rather than “plan” and I am going to try it out this week with my young students.
One aspect of the presentation concepts that strikes me is that students will often rise to their best when they are challenged and more is demanded of them. In the distance education environment I work in where much communication is via phone I find challenging students to look realistically at their goals and other commitments helps them to see more clearly and commit to the education they have undertaken. This sometimes requires asking hard questions to help students to see what they have taken on and where they may be being unrealistic. I find students often appreciate this and it seems to set them up for going forward in a more committed way.
Great work, must be challenging not seeing a student face to face, but I appreciate a lot of education is digital now and it has to be embraced. Well done
Yes, digital education has been a steep learning curve. Not always being able to see students is difficult. However, the digital tools we are all using will no doubt be of benefit.
So true, Veronica. Getting the level of challenge right is tricky – too hard and they give up, too easy and they’re bored! Understanding our students, their needs and goals is a great way to pitch the challenge at the right level – and this might mean helping them break down something that is too hard, or giving them more challenging tasks. 🙂
Hi Veronica, I completely agree that “that students will often rise to their best when they are challenged and more is demanded of them”. Indeed I think this is true of people in general, not just students – in my experience, people will generally rise or sink to the expectations we have for them (as long as they are realistic). So expecting our students to succeed and challenging them is key. Small plug here for the Professional Standards for Teachers, in which one of the focus areas is “Provide for learning that is authentic, relevant and challenging yet achievable”. Of course to find out what is relevant and challenging yet achievable, you have to get to know your students – their interests, their strengths and their areas for development – which also helps to build rapport and mutual respect.
Working in TAFE I never thought much about respect, however after reading this training I am.
I always had goal with each new class and that was to remember and use each students name by the end of the first day. That must have brought respect into the class room. The best signs of respect I received was when ex students ( who have climb the ladder in their trade) call to say they were sending an apprentice to me for training. Now to replace the word should.
Great work Stephen. I look on that as one of my great classroom skills, that by week 2 I know everyone’s name, even if they have forgotten mine!
The lesson around “should” resonates with me to Stephen. It was so ingrained in my 60’s learning. Now to be less judgemental!
Validation of a job well done Stephen. Respect through relationship and quality teaching.
Hi Stephen I too work at TAFE with disengaged youth and have learnt over the years that the teachers who show respect gets respect back and when the teacher negotiates the class rules with every member of the group at the first class she generally gets a lot of respect from her class
Could not agree more, if you can’t remember the students names early then you will find it very hard to gain their respect.
Hi Stephen, i think that this discussion is very interesting as it relates to the trades, where the Master and Apprentice relationship is hundreds of years old, and there are often really ingrained conventions of respect, authority, professional pride, and deference to experience and expertise. (I think of my own experience as a young waiter many, many years ago and I got in trouble for calling the head chef “mate” instead of “chef”.)
I also think that sometimes in this context there may be less time to negotiate what it true and what isn’t. Sometimes there IS a right way to do things and wrong way (and sometimes the difference between the two could mean real danger to the student or others. I think it is interesting to consider how this plays out in that context, and how we can adapt to this new paradigm.
Being another TAFE teacher I have the same challenges that have been mentioned in a number of the posts. We have a wide variety of students from immensely different backgrounds that present us with an ever changing landscape where mutual respect is an extremely important factor in maintaining a safe and productive work space. One small activity that I have found to be effective in developing a mutual regard for each other and the classroom is to work with the students to set the class “rules” – how they treat each other and me as their teacher/ guide in the development of their skills and knowledge. This gives the group guidelines of behavior which can lead to mutual respect or at least acceptance of others.
Hi Wendy
What a great idea! I do something similar with my students, and I have found it to be quite effective in most cases.
Great strategy, Wendy. I did the same when I was teaching – it works so much better and students ‘own’ the rules, they’re not imposed. The information on respect in this program aligns really well to this approach – flexibility, listening, asking students to take the lead/actively contribute…
Hi Wendy, This is a great concept and I have done this in class as well. I believe it gives the student some ownership of their behaviour and they tend to follow the rules more because they have decided what they are. Definitely assists with developing mutual respect.
This is so important in TAFE with so many different backgrounds and ages it can be quite challenging to gain the respect of every student all at once. Rules are so important in these situations as they set out what the general expectation is so that there is a strong basis on which to build respect throughout the whole class
Teaching at TAFE with students who may have dropped out of the school system poses challenges. This information on the different ways of being is so insightful. I was always puzzled when students would ask “do I need to know this”? Now I understand that the postmodern mindset is open, that nothing is set in stone. It was fascinating to realise that digital communication is impacting on some students ability to show empathy and explains the reduced vocabulary and difficulty understanding many words.
Hi Christina
I agree 100% with your post. The impact of digital communication empathy concept really resonated with me. Now the challenge is to work out how I can use this knowledge in the classroom :).
I have enjoyed reading the range of experiences and approaches in these posts. I teach in a TAFE environment with students that vary in their life or workplace knowledge and experience. I feel respected when students, who may have significant industry experience, seek my opinion or show a willingness to engage in discussions expand their learning. I try to bring trust and mutual respect into the classroom and provide relevant content and ensure that I treat every student as an individual that has a specific goal that they would like met by furthering their education.
Treating all students as individuals and respecting what they bring is to the classroom is the key. Love it when students make a constructive contribution and they love being recognised too
I often find that the students can bring their experiences into the classroom, I feel grateful and respected that they fell they can add to the discussions with their own experiences and that they trust me with these experiences
Coming from an Early Childhood Teacher perspective, my students may be young, but reciprocal respect is absolutely vital. Early Childhood is the time when children are formulating many of their core values, as well as their understanding of themselves and those around them. The giving and receiving of respect at this time, is something that has the potential to impact them for many years to come.
Creating a sense of belonging, in which each child is recognised as a valued member of our class, and getting to know who they are as an individual is a great way to ensure children feel respected. Providing them with the opportunity to have some control of their own learning journey, is another wonderful way to create respectful relationships between an Educator and student.
ACK (acknowledging) developing positive relationships and mutual respect can be powerful for all or might be 2M2H (too much to handle) for some. 404 (I don’t know) about you but 2MORO (tomorrow) is too late to act. Some classes can be 2M2H (too much to handle) but having fundamentals skills in respect and developing and working on them now can only be positive. ?4u (I have a question for you) Are your students worth it? *s* (smile), of course they are. If your students are like mine, totally 7K (sick) its ~5 (high fives) all round. GTG (got to go) G4C (going for coffee). EOM (end of message)
Very impressed with your initialisms, thanks for your contribution. It is hard to keep up with this evolving language. I was educated about memes recently and sensed that students were (pleasantly) surprised at my understanding. I had not thought of this as a way of earning respect.
lol – always love a good initialism, not that I always understand what they mean. This is the evolution of language and having it presented as a valid form of communication in an educational context is something I have not considered – this will be a new challenge and a perhaps a path of engagement
Love this well done. It is a skill I am still trying to master!
In student teacher relations respect is mutual, a two way relationship. I am an educator in TAFE and always associate with students with respect, integrity and dignity. The student is first a human than a student and I do not exhibit myself as an authority figure, but always friendly and firm and expect the same from students. Student and teacher respect is fundamental to teaching and learning at all stages of education from elementary. Any curriculum and pedagogy is meaningless without good relationship.
I completely agree Lalesh. Fundamentally each of us, as humans, just want to be treated with respect, integrity and dignity. Having that need met by a teacher, will go a long way into forming positive relationships and seeing positive responses from students.
Fascinating read.
As a new teacher, I have always felt that student/teacher respect should be a two way street. I have never assumed respect from a student and have always tried to earn theirs by doing similar, if not the same, things in the Sevens list. What a breath of fresh air now knowing that I am on the right track!
I can see how an older generation of teachers could potentially struggle to connect with their students due to the simple fact that they automatically demand respect rather than trying to connect with student on a more personal level to earn it.
Nat,
How wonderful that you are already on the right track in developing trusting relationships with your students. As a new teacher it is always great to have your practices positively reinforced by research and experts. Sounds like the industry is lucky to have teachers like you, coming into the field with this type of knowledge and understanding already.
Hi Nat, I agree with Michael’s presentation on respect and especially the languages of respect he has identified and I also agree with your comments regarding the two way street. however I do not agree that older teachers must necessarily struggle and would automatically demand respect. Some of the aspects Michael has raised which apply equally outside the learning environment also, will come to people who grow into deeper wisdom and knowledge of the oneness of all things and the intrinsic value that every human person has. This growth in wisdom in fact often comes with aging.
I read the love languages, but not the seven languages of respect. I work at TAFE as a teacher with students of different ages, abilites and cultural backgrounds. One of the main aspects of my teaching style is establishing respect and trust in the classroom. It allows the students to grow confidence by active participation, asking questions and sharing of knowledge.
I totally agree Jeannette. Care and respect is very strong in student teacher relationship and learning.
I agree with you Jeanette, I also teach in TAFE and have the same approach, I like the way that you have explained the importance of confidence and its relationship to the engagement of your students.
Having worked with students from disadvantaged and diverse cultural backgrounds, I have learnt that one can never assume respect as a given. Teaching is all about relationships. Students need to know that you the teacher, is on their side and that you will do everything you can to help them get through the content or course they have undertaken. I believe that is my role as a teacher. Listening to their story, asking for input and giving them time shows them you care. Each individual comes with their own unique circumstances and I have to try be flexible and adapt my practices to cater for that.
I strongly agree that establishing respect in the classroom is an essential strategy and the role of a teacher. Mutual respect then allows each students to feel safe.
I agree Janis. I like your explanation and examples. Well done!
I work in vocational training and my greatest sense of being respected by students comes from them following through with mutually agreed timelines. If we were to agree to a particular task being completed by a certain time, and I always try to explain why it this is necessary and give the student an opportunity to express their other commitments, and they stick to this despite having to negotiate possible hurdles, I am filled with pride and feelings of respect. I feel that I am getting across the notions of reliability and respect so sort after in the workforce. If they don’t complete the task and fail to communicate or negotiate other options then I really feel that they have no respect, not just for me but for themselves.
I agree it’s important to gently remind young people what employers expect. When outcomes are dollar driven, time is paramount. On the other hand,within my teaching section, time management is a skill that needs to be developed and sometimes the hurdles students face do get in the way of course completion. It’s important to make the students know they will get credit for what they have achieved and they feel welcome to resume study when things in their personal life settle down.
As a teacher dealing predominantly with youth and groups that have multiple barriers I have found this information insightful and a timely reminder of the value of building respectful relationships and the importance of examining my own values and assumptions. I feel respected when students use my name and begin sharing information. Respect is a two way street and the basis for effective cross-generational communication. Using first names breaks down any perceptions of hierarchy and is a first step in relationship building. Being available and present, sharing personal stories/experiences, admitting I do not know things, being flexible and having the student’s best interest at the center of my approach encourages respect and opens the door to effective communication.
I often feel that I am facing students with multiple barriers and think that a deep understanding of these is important in identifying when things should be directed to additional assistance areas outside of the classroom. This can not only benefit the student but the whole cohort.
I also prefer to use first names. One of the benefits of teaching small groups is that you can remember students’ names and they don’t feel the need to call the teacher Sir or Miss. I think these terms can be insisted upon as tokens of respect, when they actually encourage anonymity and lack of trust.
Yes Kerry, using first name breakdowns all barriers and lead to respect among all stakeholders in the learning environment.
I also prefer to use first names, I find it this leads to greater mutual respect and an acknowledgement that I am a facilitator to the learning experience. It also seems to encourage a more collaborative environment.
As a TAFE teacher and a mother of three young adults I feel comfortable teaching ‘Gen Y’. Respect must be earned, not assumed. Teaching students to be critical thinkers and respecting their views removes an autocratic style of educating and promotes self efficacy and empowerment
I agree Sharon. Preparing the student to be critical thinkers can empower us the teachers us much as the student. It can be a shift for some however refocussing to the students’ needs and learning in the classroom rather than focussing on my own ego is so powerful.
i am really intersted in the list of when teachers feel respected. They are not true for me, but appreciate tha could be true for some. When you come from a premise that everyone is doing as well as they can in this given situation it allows more room to become more engaged with the students. The list for teachers contained ‘ teachers feel respected when students show trust’ but for me the reverse is true. when I begin to trust the students that is when the learning happens. i think that all the answers on the the teachers side transfer across to the student side and vica-versa Infact, i think a combined list would be closer to the relative truth for both teachers and students.
You are all wonderful teachers – reading the comments it makes you realise we are trying to engage and ensure our students have a positive experience and learn something. I must admit I am a shocker for names but I do other things to ensure that they students know I know THEM rather than be a faceless blob. One thing I do like to do is start the class off with music and allow a student each session to pick a song on YouTube and tell us why and how they came to love this song and wanted to share it. I do the first couple of sessions with different songs and experiences (nothing too personal) Though soon they get over the shyness or fear and it is amazing to hear the issues they face or the lives and experiences they may bring to the class. It is amazing to see how they all want to share, or be apart of it. So it was interesting that in the seven languages for students it talked about giving them responsibility, ask for input and ideas and listen to their stories. Maybe this is a step in the right direction.
what a great idea to use music Lisa!. Such apwerful tool. Plus you have allowed for choice, uniqueness, individualism and connection in the one activity
Lisa – what a fantastic idea. Music – a great platform to build relationships, share stories and open conversations. I love the modelling you do to provide a first step creating a safe space for building exchanges and developing respect. I am going to try it!!
Lisa – I love your idea of having each student being given to opportunity to choose their own music – what a great respect building, engagement tool
As a TAFE teacher my students come from a number of generations. What was of great interest to me in this course was the concept of ‘truth’ and that with some generations that ‘truth’ is relative. This is evident with my own children, students from other cultures and also my younger students.
I also believe that ‘Respect’ in education is extremely important, both from the student and teacher perspective. Students who come straight out of school into TAFE enter a very different learning environment. The relationship between student and teacher may be very different to what they have been used to. In TAFE students have more responsibility for own learning and we encourage students to contribute with their own experiences and practices. Also, I am guilty of commonly using ‘should’ in my training. There are many ‘shoulds’ in VET, but often this is related to industry practice or expectation.
I found this interesting to see the approaches described and how respect is earnt can be quite different between teacher and student, and to consider how this can impact on the relationships in the classroom. I teach distance education and my approach is to treat the student with kindness and consideration, and work to develop trust by doing my best to do what I say I will do. I have found that everyone responds positively to this approach and, even when they might be feeling frustrated or annoyed, this approach to build trust seems to make a difference. Also, showing flexibility and understanding helps to develop trust and respect. I really enjoy building relationships with people and having opportunities to build trust and respect.
Love your approach Anne
You never know what is going on in the background for a student. It’s a great way to start Anne.
I am a hairdressing teacher at TAFE, most of my students are Gen Y’s.
Our classes are very “Hands On” and take a lot of organising and setting up both by Myself and the Students.
At our very first session, where we are all getting to know each other, discussing what we all want to achieve from the course and explaining how the class/salon operates in a “Best Practice” way, I explain my high expectations of the students in planning and preparing for the practical tasks at the beginning of each session.
I give them the responsibility of setting up the salon and their work station, ask them for their idea’s and opinions regarding the set up and allow them the flexibility of personalising their own work station.
I feel respected when they turn up on time to help others with these tasks, take responsibility for their role in the set up and contribute to the running of the session by sharing their ideas and suggestions.
“The 7 languages of Respect” speaks volumes, they really are “Common Courtesies” or perhaps what was once called “Good Manners”.
I also feel respected when students arrive on time. It can be very disruptive when they have missed the practical demonstrations. I often discuss expectations in the workplace and the importance of arriving at work on time. When potential employers contact me, one question they often ask is about their punctuality and attendance.
Love you approach Sharon. I teach Cabinetmaking which is also very practical based, like hairdressing, and I have a similar approach to introducing student to the workshop.
I also feel respected when students turn up on time.
The first thing we do to start the day is hold a “toolbox talk”. I tell my students that this is the most important part of the day and generally speaking they are quite punctual. During the talk box talks we openly discuss the days activities, outcomes and safety practices. the student have opportunities to share how they might do things differently their workplace. These discussion are also a great way to keep informed about how things are being done industry.
The seven languages of respect for students sums it up well- As teachers we need to take time to listen to our students and show an active interest and allow for flexibility- I feel teacher are so time poor with all of the paperwork and compliance that we forget that these things matter. Need to make time to connect with our students.
We are time poor and the expectations for ensuring the paperwork and we that we have meet the compliance requirements are more important to the powers. It is a shame that connecting, spending time and having quality interactions with our student is not as important as bums on seats and completion rates. That we may make a difference down the track to a student rather than filling in the endless paper work
Hi Dalia, completely agree with your comment about teachers being so time poor because of compliance and paperwork requirements, but we have to find the time to build rapport with our students.
As a teacher in TAFE I am dealing with students who are from different generations. When the class group first comes together you can notice that the different respect indicators control the interaction.
As a teacher in this environment experience has shaped how to approach the students . I have learnt that you don’t need to work at getting their respect, or become their friends, you just need to be who you are. Some students will like and respect you some wont. It is nothing personal. The key is to ensure that you can at least get the lesson content across to them.
As for the class dynamic for respect with the different generations, the students work it out amongst themselves.
I also think that classes come together and we as teachers provide them with the skills to work together, they may not respect everyone and the dynamics may be rocky at times but our role is to ensure they gain the knowledge and skills to succeed in that course. I believe in being yourself and giving the students your full knowledge and skills. They may or more not like you but then that is okay.
Well said Lisa, couldn’t agree more
This is very insightful information and is of great value in understanding the students in my classes. I think I have sat between the two lists myself without really knowing which side to align with. Knowing this research exists feels like permission to re-establish a more respectful and effective relationship with my students. I guess it will be a work in progress for me to change my behaviour and gain the trust of the students to relate to me in a different way. It might be strange for them to walk in to class (late) and for me to thank them for being there, or for me to ask how their weekend was.
I totally agree with you Brooke. This research does give us permission to re-establish more respectful and effective relationships with our students. I may have lost the plot with all of the other requirements but this is fundamental for both teachers and students. The information about the shifts was mind-blowing- it explained so much.
I agree. I think it is a great reminder to take the time to develop trust and respect between myself and the student. I teach distant education so building this respect can be tricky. One thing i do is to use the students name during the conversation while I am speaking with them. This can be a straight forward thing that can go towards developing a relationship and hopefully move towards respect.
This has enabled me to reflect immensely on a current group of students I have. I can see myself sit between the two lists but see my students clearly in their list and I will look at this in my planning.
It may not be a bad thing to be in between both lists. It would tip things out of balance to try to align to one list. After all we grew up with ours and it did shape us. We need to understand their list and meet those needs as best we can. But I think we also need to let the students know that some of what is on our list is valid too.
I am acutely aware of the value of displaying our own community of practice in the classroom where all contributions are valued validated and resected
The rule for our class is that we show respect when others speak and we are mindful of content of the “shares’ and time frames.
In our section of early Childhood educators- relationship development is the most important t aspect of everything we do and is the foundation stone for the development of the student in understanding the content and being successful . Each student is given a role in our simulated environment and hence feels like they belong and are genuinely respected. Currently we do not accept intialism and text speak in our assessments it is seething we need to consider as students stress over the written word but can articulate response’s clearly when asked to verbalize. I like the term lets prepare and no use planning- it can be overwhelming as t is more finite and preparing is the steps along the way. I agree also to perhaps remove should and replace with an alternative if anyone has ideas that would be great please share,
Working with students of diverse cultural backgrounds and abilities at TAFE has helped me to understand that students that feel safe and respected feel at ease. It is that environment that allows them to learn and grow.
I had heard of the love languages, but not the seven languages of respect. Intuitively I knew there had been a shift in respect for the younger generations and how it was achieved, but for me, this confirms it and provides insight from both sides. I work at TAFE mostly with students straight out of high school. One of the topics I teach is establishing relationships. I give my students the opportunity to run a class session, where they select a game that is relevant to the topic. They then conduct that session. Entrusting them to do this,I have found builds a great teacher – student relationship where trust and respect is developed both ways. I definitely feel respected, when they put the time, energy and effort into doing the tasks set and come prepared to do a great job.
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yes those relationship building exercises are great to break the ice and start the course on a positive vein
I agree and love your strategy Lee, students in this age group stick together and need the encouragement to share and mingle. This is a great exercise to get everyone involved, breaking the ice and learning something about their fellow students and maybe their teacher too.
I sit in a circle with my students and always try and learn their name immediately to build rapport and invest a lot of time building a relationship getting to know them and sharing stories to encourage trust and engagement before delivering content. The seven languages of respect really resonates with me and I definitely believe showing genuine interest in our students and building relationships creates the best platform for an engaging learning experience.
I agree learning students names (quickly) is an important aspect to developing a good rapport with students and showing respect to them.
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I am mindful that respect for gen y and z needs to be earnt. I think genuine rapport development and organic evolution of relationships that grow from respectful reciprocal relationships is the core.
calling students by their name and genuinely using their name when we recognize their contributions and praise them is the best .
I appreciate you sharing this strategy, and I can see the trust can be built with this beginning too
I agree. I believe that building rapport at the commencement of a course is extremely important. These ‘get to know you’ sessions not only build rapport between the teacher and the student, but also builds rapport and new friendships in the classroom.
Hi Karen, I agree with you that relationship building is so essential and helps also to motivate students. I work in TAFE in distance education and find that when I connect with students by phone if there is an opportunity to discuss and enquire about students’ domestic and work commitments they often respond very positively to the teacher being interested in their broader life situation and from this they seem to respond very positively in terms of commitment to their study.
I teach in the VET sector and believe that the 7 languages of respect is a great leap forward in understanding and reflecting on how we show respect to students. I am a Gen Y teacher and teach adults that are often quite a lot older then me. I have found that simply stating at the start of the semester that we are all here to learn from one another and share our own experiences to contribute to everyone’s learning makes them feel valued and respected. I prefer to facilitate rather then lead a class when appropriate so the students feel that they can question assumptions and teachings and express their own views and explore their own possibilities within the industry. I always say I don’t know everything and what a blessing it is to learn from my students as well. I believe I show respect well – perhaps I’m a little too soft on the formalities though!
Monique,
What you have written really resonates with me as does the 7 languages. It is such a privilege as educators to go to work and have the opportunity to not only assist our students in learning but to learn ourselves.
I teach in the VET sector to classroom, online and commercial students. I feel respected when students participate actively in learning activities as this demonstrates an appreciation of the value of the education to their current and future work. I have implemented Moodle forums such as this discussion with topics that draw out experiences, analysis and critical thinking. Students demonstrate their respect for one another as well as their teacher in these interactions.
I am in VEt too and totally agree with your respective. the Moodle can identify with the cross generational community we work with too.
I totally agree – this hands on experience is so valuable and you should be congratulated.
I feel respected by my students when I can see them responding to me in class.
I also feel respected when they speak to me an tell me something about their own lives. I have a sense of trust betwenn us , like an open channel.
Sorry for the typos
Kerry,
I agree , it is so rewarding when our students engage and we know we have created a welcoming environment for them to express themselves. it is such a reward as an educator to connect as well as educate.
I like the mention of trust through all of this and the importance of being genuine when building rapport and gaining respect.
Respect is spontaneous reactive attitude that creates an awesome experience among individuals who live, study or work together. It is mutual and stimulates people to build respectful relationships, behave positively and to appreciate each others company.
I teach adult migrants English and love my job because of the unsolicited respect I receive from my students. I believe that building a good rapport with them and earning their trust results in being unconditionally respected by them.
I’ve found that they tend to respect you more when you listen to them attentively and show them that you really care. Talking about my life experiences and listening to their stories, showing empathy and treating them with genuine kindness, acknowledging them as individuals who are different with varied experiences, encouraging them to have an opinion and respecting their diverse cultures add to the rapport building experience that I’ve had.
A sound knowledge of English grammar and vocabulary, efficient teaching approaches and the practice of providing immediate and impartial feedback also undeniably adds to the things that earn respect.
I think Bernard’s approach also demonstrates high levels of emotional intelligence which supports your teaching methodology and student interactions. Identifying the impact of your actions and behaviours on others and understanding of the situations and emotions of others maximises your teaching outcomes.
I like your approach to treating each student with kindness and individuality. This is really important when creating trust and rapport.
I teach in TAFE and I have some classes of younger students in late teens and some classes with older students, including students who have returned to study post-retirement. I definitely notice differences between the two groups. The younger students are driven by grades and will engage best if direct links can be made between task and passing. I feel like I have to constantly make these links to earn respect. The older students value feedback and personal comments on their progress. To earn the respect of older students it is important to be familiar with their work and to be able to point out improvement. Both groups of students value understanding of their personal circumstances, goals and barriers to learning.
I also teach at TAFE and find this an interesting challenge when teaching a class with students of various ages, backgrounds and walks of life. To find some common ground and bond the group initially is important for cohesion and to build a level of respect and encourage group morale.
As a TAFE teacher I have noticed that we are more used to different age groups in our classes and our experience has helped us identify that we need to be flexible in our approach to the students.
I know that I have leant from experience that the best way to gain respect in the classroom is to be firstly myself and let the students see my personality and then secondly be the teacher that they expect to guide them on their learning journey.
I teach in the VET field and find that students of all ages and backgrounds respond to a teacher being respectful and engaged with the individual student as a person. I teach in the Community Services and Nursing training packages and the subject material and the competency requirements the are based on respectful relationships. If I feel a student does not have respect I actively explore that relationship and work on common ground
Sometimes, it is very hard to relate to students individually as much as we would like. This is because of the concentration of content in so many courses. Teachers are driven by assessments these days and what they would like to do and what they really do can be two quite different things.
I build and facilitate blended or online courses to a variety of students in the VET sector. I feel that I have earned the respect of my students when I have addressed issues they have raised particularly in the technical side of their courses. Difficulties they have are often in logging on, accessing resources and understanding requirements. This is especially true when these problems were addressed across weekends, overnight and during holidays. I believe the reason the students respond this way is they realise I understand they need help right now and cannot wait till office hours. In terms of the Languages of respect, this timely response is building a relationship with the students where I can prove by actions that I understand and care about their issues.
This is great, I agree with Robyn that being timely is a clear way to demonstrate our respect to students studying in the online space. We do owe students as much respect as they owe use as teachers and I know they appreciate when we do empathize with them and show we are there to help first and foremost.
I am a teacher in VET system and have students of various ages (from 16 to 70+) who attend my classes. From my experience I find that the Seven Languages of Respect don’t just apply to Gen Y in today world, but actually to all of my students no matter what age they are. I also believe this could be from the fact that in VET environment we are seen more as facilitators of learning and often draw on previous experience of our students to provide more learning opportunities in class.
i agree Elana. It is indeed a privilege to work ithe VET sector, where students young or old bring their life experience with them. It goes even further when, because of the field of work i am in (aged care), the relationships need to be strong to start challenging existing norms and beliefs. Particularly around death, morbidity and caring and supporting the elders of our population
I teach music and feel respected by students when they tell me of their achievements in music related fields and invite me to their performances that occur outside school. I am excited when I hear this and I always congratulate/thank them and respond positively to their communication. I am genuinely happy for their progress and I believe they can sense this. I take time to inquire more about their situation and establish a conversation. If I have to cut short the dialogue I will apologise and explain why I have to leave. They always understand and are accomodating
I agree that respect must be earned. A lot of my students are older than me, very successful professionals in their chosen fields. I feel that I start earning respect when I can show them that I value their time and experience by modifying delivery/ content to suit their needs, giving useful examples or templates they can use at work, but at the same time breaking down difficult concepts and making them feel comfortable asking questions or discussing problems.
Thanks Marina. That is a great suggestion to modify delivery/content to suit the needs of the learners. Its a great way of showing respect for the individual circumstances and your students must feel that you care.
I agree with that, students of VET frequently come with impressive knowledge and life skills. The sharing of those experiences can enrich the learning space. The younger student can be the one who pulls us up so that we explain things in a more meaningful way and again everyone can benefit
I too have students who have extensive overseas qualifications and experience in their chosen field. I try to modify and adapt the teaching materials to give maximum exposure to the language and norms of the field in which they will be seeking employment. Time consuming but crucial in gaining the respect of students.
My students are similar to yours, Marina. They are well educated and some have years of experience, but can’t find a good job because they lack acceptable communication skills. I addition to preparing personalized lessons and helping individual students with their specific needs, I gain their respect by showing empathy and treating them with genuine kindness, acknowledging their experience and education and respecting their diverse cultures.